The Slayers Halloween Party
by Zelkiiro
Summary: Slayers insanity as I percieve it...R&R Chapter 6 is up! Rated PG-13 for language and occasional violence. This one's a little bit more screwed up than the others, so don't expect anything normal, okay?
1. The Slayers Halloween Party...You have b...

The Slayers Halloween Party  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers, NEXT, or TRY....but I wish I did!  
  
  
  
(Gourry, Lina, Zelgadis, and Amelia all arrive at Filia's brand new house ((Read "The Slayers Christmas Party" by Fanfiction.net author Zoe to find out what happens to Filia's brand new house...)) and knock on the door)  
  
Filia: Hold on!  
  
(Filia slowly opens the door…)  
  
Filia: Come in……is the stupid Namagomi with you?  
  
(Gourry, Lina, Zel, and Amelia look around)  
  
Lina: I don't think so…  
  
Filia: Good! (turns around to find Xelloss standing right in front of her)  
  
*WHAM*  
  
(Gourry, Zel, Lina, and Amelia all stare at the Xelloss-shaped hole (Copyright 2001 FanFiction.net Author Zoe) )  
  
Gourry: Uhh…Lina? Why did she pound Xelloss into the floor?  
  
Lina: (clenches teeth) Because…Gourry, she hates him……  
  
Xelloss: (climbs out of his own crater) I'm okay!  
  
Zel: …  
  
Amelia: What's wrong Mr. Zelgadis?  
  
Zel: Oh…nothing…  
  
Filia: So…what are you all dressed as?  
  
Gourry, Lina, Zel, Xelloss, Amelia: …… (all leave very quickly)  
  
Filia: O.O()  
  
(Gourry, Lina, Zel, Xelloss, and Amelia all run into random costume shops)  
  
(Gourry comes back as a jellyfish…Lina comes back as a Witch…Zel comes back as a bunny (go figure)…Xelloss comes back as Zel (^_^)…Amelia comes back as Wonder Woman)  
  
Filia: O.O;;  
  
(Gourry, Zel, Xelloss, Lina, and Amelia all run into Filia's living room, hitting Valgarv along the way…dressed up as a werewolf, and Naga…dressed up as a slut (no difference there, I guess) )  
  
Lina: Sorry we're late, but we had to do some…last-minute……shopping?  
  
Gourry: Well, we're too late, Lina, because this is the end of the Chapter!!!  
  
Lina: WHAT?!  
  
Amelia: It can't be Mr. Gourry!  
  
Zel: …  
  
Xelloss: (imitates Zel) …  
  
Bowen (Me): Well, well…all your money wasted until the next chapter…pity.  
  
Lina: WHY YOU!!! I"M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS!!!! Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flow of time…  
  
Amelia: Mr. Bowen, why is Miss Lina so angry?  
  
Bowen: Because she came dressed as herself…I guess…  
  
Lina: LET THE FOOLS WHO STAND BEFORE US BE DESTROYED BY THE POWER YOU AND I POSSESS….DRAAGON SLAAAAVEEE!!!!  
  
Bowen: (Magically uses special Author powers and deflects Dragon Slave) Heh heh heh….  
  
Xelloss: (imitates Zel) Lina, why must you persist to engage in such unpeaceful acts?  
  
Zel: JERK!! I do not talk like that!! You've got it all wr…(fades) 


	2. Movie and Food! You have been Warned Aga...

The Slayers Halloween Party...As You've Never Seen It Before: Continued!!!  
  
Zel: ...wrong Xelloss, I do not speak like that!!! It is disgusting how you think I act!!!  
  
Xelloss: And why is that Zelgabunny?  
  
Zel: (feels the sudden urge to strangle him)  
  
Lina: (attempts to conjure up the Giga Slave)  
  
Bowen: Pu-lease...my superior powers are superior to your magic...  
  
Amelia: Umm...Miss Lina? Don't you think we should listen to him?  
  
Gourry: (sits there trying to remember how to breathe and blink at the same time)  
  
Valgarv: Do NOT compliment about my "fabulous" costume...  
  
Naga: Why not? It makes you look cute...(insert very scary incessant banshee laughter here)  
  
Valgarv: Because my mom made me wear it...-.-;  
  
All except for Naga: .........  
  
Lina: ......  
  
Gourry: Oh! I remember now! (breathes and blinks at the same time)  
  
Lina: Yeah, great.  
  
Zel: ...Astounding?  
  
Valgarv: (notices Zel's bunny suit) Whoa! And I thought MY costume was bad...  
  
Naga: (insert more evil banshee witch laughter here)  
  
Filia: So...Naga, what're you dressed as?  
  
Naga: I decided to dress like a City Slut!  
  
Gourry: I don't notice anything different...  
  
Naga: Nothing different? (laughs scarier than ever)  
  
Zel: Grrrr...will someone just shut her up!  
  
Xelloss: I seem to rather enjoy all the anguish and murderous thoughts surrounding this room...  
  
Lina: Xelloss, HOW CAN YOU STAND THIS?!?!?!  
  
Xelloss: (opens mouth)  
  
Lina: Nevermind...  
  
Filia: Should we start eating now?  
  
(Everyone looks behind them, seeing a table full of food)  
  
Lina: FOOD!  
  
Gourry: It's mine! (leaps in front of Lina)  
  
Amelia: Umm...Miss Lina, Mr. Gourry?  
  
Zel: It's disgusting...  
  
Xelloss: I wonder if she has any ice cream... (runs over to the table)  
  
Amelia: Why not? (runs to the food table)  
  
Zel: ..................  
  
(Lina and Gourry eat large amounts of food until their stomachs literally burst)  
  
Xelloss: (snacks on the Sour cream and onion chips deciding they're almost as good as ice cream)  
  
Filia: (puts "House on Haunted Hill" into the VCR, hoping SOMEONE will watch it)  
  
Xelloss: OOH! I saw this movie...I love this movie, so does my friend (points to a potato chip he has dubbed "Joe."  
  
Amelia: (clings to "Mr. Zelgadis" hoping he will provide emotional support)  
  
Zel: (gives Amelia a weird look, hoping she'll loosen her grip soon)  
  
( 2 Hours Later...)  
  
Amelia: That was scary, wasn't it Mr. Zelgadis?  
  
Zel: Uhh...  
  
Amelia: I knew you'd agree with me...  
  
Zel: But I didn't say...  
  
Amelia: Even warriors such as yourself must be scared sometime, including me!  
  
Zel: But you wouldn't...  
  
Amelia: So that is why we must...  
  
Lina: Amelia...will you just SHUT UP!?  
  
Xelloss: (still stares at the screen) What happens now?  
  
Filia: I put an end to your miserable existence!!!  
  
Xelloss: Really? What happens?  
  
(Filia savagely smacks Xelloss around with her mace and enjoys every second of it while Lina and Gourry still eat heavy amounts of food...Lina, of course, took Xelloss's little friend, Joe)  
  
Bowen: What have I done to the Slayers? Where did I go wrong??? Why have I made this madhouse out of Filia's home? Beats me...I just did it for the heck of it.  
Stay tuned for party games......oh boy, this'll be fun... 


	3. Party Games! The Dreaded Prophecy has be...

The Slayers Halloween Party Chapter 3....  
  
Sorry about the lack of updates, but I was really busy...so anyways....  
  
It's 11:00 and the beginning of the night, they already watched a movie, ate lots of food (go figure), so it's time for the games!  
  
Filia leads them into a large room with over 30 assorted Halloween games, all dealing with cruelty to Xelloss. Filia immediately goes to the "Bop-a-Xelloss."  
  
Lina: So this is what Filia was all excited about...  
  
Xelloss heads to the "Bobbing for Mazoku Heads" game and drags Zel with him.  
  
Zel: Ah! Lemme go, dammit!!!  
  
Xelloss: Come on, it's just one game...  
  
Zel: Oh, all right, fine...  
  
Gourry goes to a virtual reality game where you slice 10,000 Mazoku in half with a sword.  
  
Gourry: Finally something I'm good at! But why to they ALL look like Xelloss...does Filia have something against him or what?  
  
Amelia walks over to Zel and wonders why he is so angry.  
  
Amelia: What's wrong Mr. Zelgadis?  
  
Zel: Don't ask...I just had to play 33 games with that idiot when he said he'd play only one...(groans)  
  
Amelia: It couldn't have been that bad Mr. Zelgadis.  
  
Zel: Trust me, it was...  
  
Lina sneaks into the previous room and snacks on more food.  
  
Gourry: Well, that was fun. I wonder where Lina went?  
  
Xelloss plays the Bop the Mazoku game with Filia and gets a beating with her mace again.  
  
Bowen: What'd ya expect? Filia being nice to him? Like that'll ever happen!  
  
Filia walks over to an arcade game called Namagomi Invasion where an evil looking Xelloss terrorizes New York, gets a high score, and celebrates. The doorbell rings and Filia goes to open the door. Xelloss walks over to Zel and compliments his bunny suit. Zel of course punches him in the face and Xelloss smiles like an idiot.  
  
Zel: Idiot...  
  
Lina comes back with a full stomach and her outfit torn. Xelloss puts on his Zelgadis mask and sits by Zel.  
  
Zel: Go away or I will have to break your face again...  
  
Meanwhile, Filia comes back with Sylphiel, who just arrived and was carrying a container of food. Sylphiel was holding a Chibi-Gourry in her hands.  
  
Sylphiel: Where is Gourry dear?  
  
Gourry: Hi Sylphiel.  
  
Sylphiel blushes as Gourry finally remembered her name. She gives him the container of food and the little Chibi Gourry. Lina gets jealous due to her love for food and the will to punch Gourry in the...  
  
Sylphiel: I made these just for you, Gourry dear.  
  
Gourry: Thanks! I was getting hungry. So what are you doing here?  
  
Sylphiel: I decided to come and see you, Gourry dear.  
  
Bowen: (Yuck...love is a disgusting thing...but it is essential......life sucks)  
  
Xelloss appears out of nowhere beside Sylphiel and Gourry.  
  
Xelloss: Well well...isn't THIS romantic?  
  
Sylphiel giggles and Gourry invites him to play some games with him and Sylphiel. Lina looks around and sees all these games that are somewhat not very interesting to her. Zel sits in horror, still, because he has played too many games with Xelloss. Amelia tries to cheer Zel up, but to no avail. Filia is in the kitchen...making the ultimate snack. Valgarv sits at home and wonders why the hell he was included in this fic.  
  
Bowen: As the game-time comes to an end...Filia will come out with the Ultimate Snack and another movie. To find out the new film of terror...wait until Chapter 4...More food and fun for all...except Zel, because he was only dragged here in the first place. 


	4. More Movie and More Food! This is the Da...

The Slayers Halloween Party Chapter 4!!!  
  
Disclaimer: You must've seen it already, or you are very much blind.  
  
  
  
Filia still works in the kitchen with her snack just about done. Xelloss just now notices Joe is missing. Lina still pigs out on food. Gourry is playing some of those arcade games.  
  
Xelloss: JOE!!!!!!!!! Who could've done this...??? TO MY POOR UN-INNOCENT JOE!?!?!?!?  
  
Everyone, except Filia, look over to Xelloss and wonders what the hell he is talking about.  
  
Zel: (I better not say anything or I'll attract attention...)  
  
Filia finally comes out with her little snacks. They turn out to be sugar cookies with a very intricately detailed picture of Xelloss with a big red "X" over it. She passes them out as though she was passing out a cure for AIDS. Xelloss gladly takes it and eats it. So does Lina, who'll eat anything and is already starting to look on the chubby side...but as in most shows, that won't last...  
Zel turns them down, because he wasn't really hungry anyways...Sylphiel hesitantly takes them, wondering about how rude it is to cast out anyone, even Xelloss. Gourry shrugs and takes one.  
  
Gourry: Hey, Filia, these are pretty good!  
  
Filia: As you can tell, I made them myself.  
  
Lina: GIMME MORE FOOD!!!  
  
Bowen gets sick and tired of Lina's food craze and decides to make her a flat-footed landshark.  
  
Bowen: Heh hehehehee...  
  
Lina: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! IT'S UNFAIR!!!!!!!  
  
Bowen: Ohhh...yes I can, I'M the author, ya know!  
  
Zel: How...embarrassing...  
  
Filia makes everyone shut up and leads them back to the previous room where she led them in Chapter 2 and part of 3. She sticks in a new movie, a movie so horrifying, it's...horrifying. The beginning credits roll, and then a big purple dinosaur appears on the screen, sending Lina, Gourry, Sylphiel, Zel, Amelia, and Filia into curdling screams. Xelloss enjoys it, because everyone else doesn't, besides...it was purple.  
  
Zel:   
  
Amelia: oo;  
  
Lina: O.O  
  
Gourry: o.o()  
  
Xelloss: ^_^   
  
Lina takes her attention off of the TV and focuses on the food. Filia tells them that isn't the real movie and puts in another movie. It turns out to be "The Haunting". The were occasional shrieks and AAH's of surprise, but "House on Haunted Hill" delivered more of these. Sylphiel, ignoring the movie, inches closer to Gourry and rests her head on his shoulder. After the movie, Amelia was clinging to Zel, who was not enjoying himself...dressing like a bunny and now this. Lina still fills her face with food. Bowen(me) sits and wonders what to make Lina next...  
  
Filia: Alright! Now that we have seen the 2nd movie of the night, it's time for Kareoke!!!  
  
Zel, Gourry, and Lina's jaws drop, while Amelia, Sylphiel, and Xelloss seemed all for it. Filia leads them upstairs...to the concert room...  
  
Bowen: As Midnight approaches, the group heads for the Auditorium...what will become of Lina, Zel, and Gourry? What will they think of Xelloss, Sylphiel, and Amelia's singing? Find out next ti-iiii  
  
Zel: Come along, now...I'm NOT suffering alone...  
  
Zel drags him across the linoleum floor and Bowen struggles, but his special extra signifigant author powers are of no use.  
  
Zel: I'm going to stick you in front row for including me in this fic...  
  
Bowen: Please...wait, I CAN EXPLAIN!!!! END ALREADY!!!! 


	5. Kareoke and Dance! Zel Should've Stayed ...

The Slayers Halloween Party Chapter 5!!!  
  
Filia leads and/or drags everyone up to the Auditorium. Zel drags Bowen along, making sure he does NOT escape. Amelia, Sylphiel, and Xelloss all run up to the stage, whereupon Amelia and Xelloss argue about who'll sing first.  
  
Amelia: I GO FIRST!  
  
Xelloss: I insist, let me go first...  
  
Filia: This is gonna be a loooong night...  
  
Xelloss appears suddenly right by Filia, whereupon she releases a blood-curdling scream and beats him around with her mace.  
  
Zel: Alright, Bowen...here we are...  
  
Zel straps him onto a chair, puts a slip of duct tape over his mouth, and sits by him to make sure he doesn't leave. Lina sneaks out and goes back to the food. Gourry wonders why he was here in the first place, because, technically, he forgot...  
Amelia starts first and sings "Otome No Inori(her little version)", Xelloss sings "Living on the Edge" (L-sama only knows why...), Sylphiel sings "Nobody Wants to Be Lonely", Zelgadis (reluctantly) sings "Iris", Gourry sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", because he doesn't know any other songs. Filia drags Lina back up, then sings "Breeze (Slayers TRY theme in case someone doesn't know)", and Lina sings "Get the Party Started" rather quickly, then leaves again for more food.  
  
Filia: Wonderful, everyone! Let's all do a group song now!  
  
Zel, Gourry both hang their head in disappointment...Filia forces them all to sing "Get Along, Try Again"...  
  
Zel: I have never been so embarrassed...  
  
Gourry: I didn't even know any of the words...  
  
Amelia: That was FUN!  
  
Xelloss: I agree! We should do it again sometime!  
  
Filia: Wonderful idea! (For once...) Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought you were...(but damn is he close!)  
  
Xelloss: |||^_^|||  
  
Bowen: (now unstrapped) SURPRISE! Dance time!!  
  
Zel: Wh...WHAT?! You never said anything about a dance, you bastard!!  
  
Bowen: I know...  
  
Zel beats him down with Filia's mace, then returns it to her. Filia leads them to the ballroom, where a special DJ, Valgaav, was sitting.  
  
Valgaav: How much you paying me for this again?  
  
Filia: $15 an hour.  
  
Zel: An...an HOUR?! (to Gourry) Did she say per HOUR?  
  
Gourry: I think so...  
  
Valgaav: Yeah, yeah, I'll be your damn DJ to play music to get your fat asses out here and dance like hell...so appreciate it or I'll knock the shit outta you...  
  
Xelloss: Wow...I didn't think it was possible to swear that many times in one sentence...  
  
Amelia: This should be fun! Don't you think Mr. Zelgadis?  
  
Zel: Oh, yes...hours of magic...(sighs)  
  
3 1/2 hours later...  
  
Valgaav: Alright, it's request time...come up here to request your little song to jiggle your fat around to...  
  
Amelia immediately runs up and requests a slow song dubbed "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"...Zel freaks when he hears slow music. Amelia walks up to him with a broad ear-to-ear grin. Zel just looks at her with a look of horror.  
  
Amelia: Come on, Mr. Zelgadis! I love this song!  
  
Zel: ...  
  
Reluctantly (and I mean reluctantly), Zel gets in the dance floor and dances with Amelia (while Lina looked on holding back laughter, Gourry thought...nothing, Sylphiel thought it was kind of sweet that they got along, Filia just paid no mind). Xelloss just gets the sudden urge (and guts) to "hug" Filia. Filia, of course, beats him around with her trusty mace.  
  
Gourry: I didn't know Zel could dance...  
  
Lina: (with mouthfuls of food) Neither did I...  
  
Sylphiel almost bursts into tears. Zel looked at them all trying not to screw up in front of them. Lina is still eating some food she hid in the pockets of her cape. Gourry looks on, clueless of course.  
The song ends, and they stop dancing. Amelia is about to burst with joy. Zel is about to burst with embarrassment. Gourry goes up and requests a song and gets punched in the face by Valgaav.  
  
Valgaav: Idiot...THIS IS A DANCE, NOT SOME DAMN LITTLE NURSERY!  
  
Gourry: But what's wrong with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? It's the only song I know...  
  
Valgaav: THEN LEARN SOME NEW ONES!!  
  
Gourry gives his classic "what is he talking about" face. Filia leads them all back to the party room for one final movie...and some more food.  
  
Bowen: As they make their way down...they...OW! Don't pull my...OW!!!!  
  
Zel: Come now, you are not leaving here alive...first kareoke...then dance, now another crappy movie, I swear...I ought to skin you alive and feed you to Lina...  
  
Bowen: Please, wait...I CAN EXPLAIIIINN!!!! Please end now... 


	6. The Epilogue! Or is it...?

The Slayers Halloween Party Chapter 6!!!  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1...but for the helluvit, I don't own Slayers, I just like to make their lives miserable!  
  
Filia leads them back to the party room and puts in another movie.  
  
Gourry: What movie do you think it'll be?  
  
Lina: Probably something weird and demented...  
  
Zel: Probably something boring again...  
  
Amelia: Maybe it's scarier than the first two (shudders at the thought)  
  
Xelloss: So, tell me, Filia, what movie are you putting in now?  
  
Lina: Not a smart move, Xelloss...!!  
  
As Lina said, not a smart move. Filia rushes forward and knocks the crap outta Xelloss, beats him around with her mace, and sets him upsidedown in his chair.  
  
Xelloss: |||@.@|||  
  
Zel:   
  
Zel looks down on the mangled-up Xelloss and laughs. Gourry forgets how to breathe and blink at the same time again. Filia pushes play and the movie begins. It is now a movie dubbed "Scary Movie". Instead of being scary, it was drop-dead hilarious.  
  
After the movie, Filia set up another round of snacks. Lina, of course, got there first. Xelloss looked in a bag and saw Joe...and his "family".  
  
Xelloss: JOE!!!  
  
Xelloss affectionately hugs "Joe" and gets hit over the head for it... Lina then takes the chip and shoves it in her mouth.  
  
Xelloss: |||OoO|||  
  
Xelloss then takes his wrath out on Lina. He decides to call her names like "Flatchest" and "Little Runt", then he realizes Zolf already copyrighted those lines.  
  
Xelloss: Damn...  
  
When Lina finished the snacks, Filia led them all to the door and bid them all (except Xelloss, who managed to repaint Filia's wall with Onion Dip) farewell. Then Zel literally tore off his costume.  
  
Zel: I'm glad that's over...  
  
Filia all-of-a-sudden invites them to a Christmas Party on December 20th. They all say they can come (except for Xelloss, who was making a model of Filia out of leaves, then beats it down with his trusty staff).  
  
Filia: O.O()  
  
Filia wrathfully runs after Xelloss with her mace high above her head. She chases Xelloss all the way down the street. Everyone else bids each other farewell and goes to their homes (or in Zel's case, to find his cure til Christmas). Filia chases Xelloss back to her house and quickly runs inside before Xelloss. Xelloss looks triumphantly at the tank of gasoline and pack of matches he found.  
  
Xelloss: Now what could I do with this...?  
  
He looks around and notes Filia's garden, and thinks of a great idea for Christmas...He laughs evilly...and full of joy, then the Trickster Priest disappeared.  
  
December 20th, 4:00 PM  
  
Lina looks around, looking for everyone at the foot of Filia's door. Zel arrives and looks even worse than usual (he looked for a month and a half for a cure, but never found one). Gourry arrived a few minutes later, then Amelia came soon after. Sylphiel comes as well. And what party would be complete without...XELLOSS!!! Who jumps down from the rooftop.  
  
Amelia: Miss Lina, it's so great to see you again!!  
  
Lina: Oh, yes...wonderful...*sighs*  
  
Zel: It seems everyone is here, now.  
  
Sylphiel: I'm sure it'll be a nice party.  
  
Gourry: It should, or Filia wouldn't have invited us!  
  
Lina: I guess you got a point there Gourry, so what're we waiting for?!  
  
Lina knocks on the door, answered by Filia. She notes Xelloss and gives him the nastiest glare she has ever given him, it even scared him.  
  
Xelloss: |||OO()||  
  
Filia leads them all in, and....you'll have to read Zoe's "The Slayers DySfUnCtIoNaL Christmas Party" to find out what happens...  
  
Zel: At least our pain is over...  
  
Bowen: For now, at least...  
  
Zel looks at him wondering what that meant...Bowen disappears and FanFiction.net author Zoe takes over...  
  
Zel: I have a bad feeling about this...  
  
Lina: *makes catlike face* This is not good...  
  
END 


End file.
